is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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