I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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