You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
