he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
