there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
