i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
