My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
