I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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