this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
