if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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