Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
