Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
