So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
