You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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