she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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