You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
