hotel room ftw
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
