where am i from again
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
