they need to just BURY HIM!
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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