It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
