well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
her vagine was all disorganized.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize