I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
