they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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