Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
