I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
