if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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