his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
