Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
