Please, let me fuck your mom
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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