hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
