Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
