I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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