Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
