What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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