we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Randomize
