Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
