She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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