absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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