Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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