then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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