you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
