i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
