hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize