'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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