note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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