I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
