; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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