at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
