i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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