i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Randomize
