im gay
i know
yea but for you.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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