I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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