went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize