summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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