At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
