so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
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