Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
