I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
