Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
