Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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