ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
