I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
