You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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